GETTING MARRIED YOUNG & WHAT WE'VE LEARNED SO FAR
Before we were married, neither of us really knew how to cook or stick to a budget, but one of the best parts of getting married young is learning and experiencing life together. You get to grow up and grow old with your best friend, and what could be better than that?
I (Kendra) was 20 when Jason and I got married almost four years ago, and Bryana was 24 when she and Brett were married this past fall. So although we’re still young and not experts by any means, we’re living and learning every day and wanted to share with you all what we've learned so far. :)
Communication is key. This is the advice every newlywed hears over and over again, but we promise, it’s so SO important! As much as we’d love if our spouses could read our minds or if we could read theirs, it’s just not the way God made us! Haha. So try your best to communicate your thoughts, feelings, expectations, needs, ideas and just about everything. That way there’s hopefully no guessing games, assuming, expecting, or resentment.
Another thing that has been huge for us, is learning what our love languages and our enneagram numbers are. They truly help us understand each other, our personalities, and how our personalities work together. Our love languages teach us so much about ourselves and our spouses, how we can better serve, love, and understand each other the way we need. And same goes for our enneagram numbers, not letting our numbers become an excuse, but more of a self-growth tool to help us learn and grow, and grow together!
Be intentional about dating your spouse. Whether that’s date nights or lunches or whatever you have time for. It’s easy to stop making an effort in ways that you did while you were dating, but this is the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, so why not make it fun and exciting, and be intentional about that?! Go on dates and have fun with each other! Click here to read our post for some winter date night ideas! :)
Going along with date nights is, to never stop having fun together. As funny as it sounds, it’s extremely important to laugh together and laugh at each other (in the nicest way), because life can be hard and there’s so much time to be serious, but whether it’s dancing in your kitchen or watching a good show or movie or playing a game, it’s so important to have that light-hearted fun together!
Give each other grace. It’s easy to get upset over the little things, like your husband didn’t put his dirty clothes in the hamper again or he forgot to put the toilet paper roll back on the holder, but try not to sweat the small stuff, marriage teaches you a lot about patience and forgiveness, especially because tomorrow you’ll probably need his patience and forgiveness for forgetting to put the clothes in the dryer. :)
Talk about money so you don’t fight about it. Unfortunately, it’s been said that money is the leading cause of stress and arguments in a relationship. It can be especially challenging getting married young while just starting out in the world, but learning to spend wisely and live within your means is a great place to start.
Spending time with other couples is the best! To have friends or family to relate to and laugh with about all of the good & hard parts of life and marriage makes life a whole lot more fun! P.s. Take notes from older couples in your life and never be afraid to ask them for advice!
Last but certainly not least, the most important part of marriage to us is to love God & love each other. If you are both seeking God, reading His word, and walking in His light, your relationship with God and each other will only grow stronger.
People say marriage is hard and at times it can be, but it can also be the best and greatest adventure of your life. You don’t have to know all of the answers or even how to cook (haha!), but as long as you wholeheartedly love and respect each other and pursue your relationship with the Lord, you'll find that marriage is truly incredible.
